*For the sake of seeming perfect, we hide our imperfections like a pirate hides his gold. The unfortunate consequence to this is that we feel all alone. It's time to change that. Let's examine our lives together and learn to love life in the process.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Avoidance

I had a conversation with someone today that spurred me to examine myself and I didn't like what I felt. This person was offering to help pack my things for my upcoming move. I kept turning them down because, "I'm just going to do it later" I said. He was persistent and I was equally persistent.

After the conversation I couldn't ignore the call to examine what I was feeling. Why did I really want to put off packing? My current excuse was because I didn't have the time to go through everything. Upon further reflection I had to admit that wasn't the only reason.

I realized and am in the process of admitting, that I am going to have a much tougher time emotionally with the move. I am completely excited about a fresh start but a fresh start means leaving something behind. Going through things and getting closer to this fresh start makes leaving behind my previous "life" that much more of a reality.

So, it isn't that I don't have time to pack, although I am quite short on that, I realized I was avoiding what I didn't really want to do. Avoidance doesn't get rid of a problem. In fact, most of the time avoiding something makes things worse. The process of avoidance brings with it stress and worry that makes the thing you are avoiding more of a "monster" then it actually is.

I have decided to pack sooner then later and deal with the emotions that come. I know it will make my fresh start much more rewarding. If I can do that then maybe I can stop avoiding the ugly laundry pile in my room too. So the question is: What do you avoid? and What do you do to avoid it?
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3 comments:

  1. btadlockMay 29, 2011 at 8:56 PM

    I am a classic avoider! Have been my whole life. Currently I am avoiding several things in my lif that need attention. One could compare me to an ostrich with her head in the sand. "If I don't see it or think about it then it will go away." I was raised this way. But as you pointed out in your post, this usually brings more stress and problems. Recently, I've been examining why I do this, and for me I think it is fear of failure. My whole life I have feared to fail, feared not being good enough, or having people judge me. I'm hard on myself and over analyze EVERYTHING! I think myself to failure even before I try. So, like you, I'm working on it. My goal is to be better than I was yesterday, rather than expecting myself to be perfect today. Hang in there :)

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  2. NicholeMay 30, 2011 at 4:39 AM

    btadlock: You are so awesome for sharing that. I tell my wonderful sis-in-law that she is perfect in her imperfectness. This isn't saying she does a lot of things wrong but that she doesn't worry about being perfect. When I see her doing things that others "normally" wouldn't do, then I feel like I have more of a chance attaining the good I see in her.

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  3. CherylJune 4, 2011 at 6:13 AM

    I think we all avoid things but right now I am avoiding thinking of what I am avoiding. :)

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